In 2022, I was diagnosed with Autism and was given some reading to take a look at around what used to be called Asperges or high functioning autism, which is now termed, Autism level 1 (ASD1).
This is where the journey of self-discovery began which you may have read about in the “Learning To Be Human” blog.
I wanted to share some of the bigger challenges that reared up at the time after being diagnosed at the age of 39 as I began to question and look back on the past in my life because I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this and it’s nice to know you’re not on your own through the process.
When going through the pre-diagnosis course I had a question around C-PTSD (complex post traumatic disorder) because at first I didn’t understand what was the ASD1 and what was the Trauma and how could I tell them apart? I was told that they were not trained in trauma and why would I want to know the difference anyway. A few people had said the same.
Out of all the things I experienced such as;
- Unmasking.
- Choosing who and when to tell people.
- Reliving memories from the past with overwhelming light bulb moments.
- Wondering what was “normal” and what was ASD1.
- Feeling alone and grieving an old identity.
- Feeling relieved to know I wasn’t broken.
- Emotional.
The biggest thing’s I have had to learn from after the late ASD1 diagnosis is that:
- Autism can be accompanied with ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD and other neurodiverse conditions.
- Being a neurodivergent comes with challenges AND some real bonuses that can act as a double edge sword – Hyper focus, Pattern recognition, non-linear perspective and a unique perspective on problem solving and creativity.
- You can be both ASD1 and ADHD because they co-exist in a quantum manor.
- Self-awareness, development and education is key to knowing who you are and how to work WITH your brain and skills.
- CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), meditation and mBIT balanced breathing are really helpful with managing thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
- We’re not here to “FIT IT”… we are here to “BELONG” and pave the way in the process of quantum evolution and innovation.
- Self-acceptance is fundamental to your self-worth and it takes time and that’s ok.
Access to work was a god send last year and enabled me to access a neurodiverse coach who has been massively helpful and been beneficial on a personal and business level.
I’ve learned so much and gained new insights and knowledge from personal experience and training.
The biggest part of acceptance I have learned that has bugged me the most has to be the difference in how ASD1 and C-PTSD shows up. Coming to peace with this has been HUGE! And for me the difference is that the ASD1 has always been there from a kid and always will be, but the C-PTSD part hasn’t always been there and it’s something that can be healed, and they can both be managed and that… is good enough!
I now know I’m AuDHD, and I actually like that I am. I don’t know why but the ASD1 was harder to accept and deal with. Maybe it’s because I love the spiritual connection and the quantum science behind it. It’s fascinating and you can read more about that in the AuDHD The Quantum Spectrum blog.
Going through a late diagnosis of ASD1 or any other neurodiversity can be different experience for each individual and the way it’s processed and integrated. As an adult who has lived most of your life not knowing why you’re different and why perhaps you didn’t cope so well from a young age with social cues, social skills, emotional regulation and why it was so challenging to do the things that others found so simple!
That’s why it’s so important to know, accept and love who you are and work with your strengths, unique abilities and build on what you already and unlock your potential.
If you’re looking for someone who has been there and has gone through a similar experience, perhaps to help navigate pre-diagnosis, someone who is trained to coach and mentor neurodiverse individuals through life changes in private 1:1 coaching sessions contact me on;
amandabowden222@gmail.com or book yourself in for a free discovery chat via zoom on the link below 😊