The Journey of Grief

by | Grief

⭐TRIGGER WARNING – MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ⭐

Grief is a unique human process and journey. It’s far from what some may believe and rarely happens in a linear fashion. Grief is more of a non-linear, meaning it can be experienced in any order of emotions and phases we go through but there are common and natural ways we humans can experience and cope with it.

Some of the emotions that surface around grief can be;

  • Anger
  • Deep Sadness
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Yearning
  • Numbness
  • A sense of deep loss
  • Disbelief
  • Confusion
  • Preoccupation – takes over your life
  • Shame
  • Guilt

It is said that there are 5 stages and phases around grief and how we as humans experience it according to Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, also known as the ‘Kubler Ross Change Curve’ which looks little like this;

But like I previously said, it doesn’t have to happen in this order and more than one part of the process or emotions can surface and be experienced at once.

We humans generally want things to be processed quickly and in a linear way which can look like this…

A to B

This is probably a more accurate way on how grief is processed and can feel like at times depending on the situation…

A to B

Some of the behaviours that can be experienced during grief/grieving can be;

  • Absent mindedness
  • Restlessness
  • Treasuring Objects
  • Avoiding Reminders
  • Sleep Disturbance
  • Loss of Appetite
  • Sighing and crying
  • Searching for answers
  • Over sensitive to noise/light
  • Dry mouth
  • Lack of energy – related to depression

Physical symptoms can present as;

  • Feeling a hollowness in the stomach
  • Tightness in the chest and throat
  • Breathlessness

Confusion and disruption can present itself as;

  • Questioning oneself
  • Searching for understandings
  • Profound disbelief
  • Social processing surrounding in survival mode
  • Profound questions around your own identity and who/how you’ll cope
  • Impact the WHOLE of a family / friends dynamics depending on the situation and the ripple effect

One of THE most difficult grief experiences that is harder to deal with is of those who take their own lives, suicide.

Suicide rates are generally higher in Men than women with a staggering 700,000 of whom take their own lives globally each year.

Autistic people are at a higher risk of suicide than non-autistic people. Figures have shown that as many as 11-66% of autistic adults had thought about suicide during their lifetime, and up to 35% had planned or attempted suicide (Hedley, D., & Uljarević, M. 2018). Autistic people are also more at risk of dying by suicide than non-autistic people, with the highest risk seen in autistic people without co-occurring intellectual disability, and autistic women (Hirvikoski, T. et al 2020; Kirby, A.V. et al. 2020).

Suicide or loss of a loved or someone you cherished can also trigger your own C-PTSD (complex trauma) in which I can relate to early January 2024 whilst experiencing anxiety and depression after the loss of a child hood friend and best friend to my brother late December, 2023. The trigger was of past trauma and depression from narcissistic mental abuse and planning to take my own life of which I went into detail in my book, ‘Spirology – Reflection Of Self The Road Back To Me’ if you would like to learn more on techniques and how to cope.

Many people’s understanding around grief is that of the loss of a loved one or someone near and dear of whom they cherished, but it’s actually more than that!

Grief can occur from MANY situations and perhaps some you wouldn’t have even thought about like;

🌿 Types of Grief

🕊️ Traditional Forms:

  • Anticipatory Grief: Grieving before a loss occurs (e.g., terminal illness, impending separation).
  • Acute Grief: The intense, immediate response following a loss.
  • Complicated Grief: Prolonged, unresolved grief that interferes with daily life.
  • Disenfranchised Grief: Grief that isn’t socially acknowledged (e.g., miscarriage, loss of a pet, neurodivergent identity shifts after diagnoses).
  • Delayed Grief: Suppressed grief that surfaces later, often triggered by unrelated events.

🌀 Transitional & Identity-Based Grief

  • Identity Grief: Mourning the loss or transformation of one’s self-concept (common in neurodivergent awakening/awareness or diagnosis).
  • Role Grief: Grieving the loss of a role—parent, partner, leader, caregiver—as life circumstances shift.
  • Entrepreneurial Grief: The emotional toll of business failure, pivoting, or letting go of a vision.
  • Neurodivergent Grief: Grieving missed opportunities, misunderstood experiences, or societal exclusion.

🌌 Metaphysical & Energetic Grief

  • Soul-Level Grief: A deep, existential ache tied to spiritual disconnection or cosmic homesickness (often showing up as depression).
  • Energetic Grief: Feeling the weight of collective sorrow or absorbing others’ emotional pain.
  • Dimensional Grief: Mourning timelines, potentials, or versions of self that were never realized.

💔 Relational & Invisible Grief

  • Ambiguous Loss: Grief without closure (e.g., estranged relationships, growing apart, domestic and mental abuse, dementia).
  • Secondary Loss: Losses that ripple from the primary one (e.g., financial stability, community, identity).
  • Cumulative Grief: Layered grief from multiple losses over time.
  • Invisible Grief: Internalized grief that’s masked by productivity, caregiving, or emotional suppression.

📈 Transitions and Catalytic Events

  • 🔥 Catalytic Grief: This grief emerges from sudden, life-altering events—like a breakup, career collapse, or quantum spiritual awakening—that shatter your current reality. It’s raw, disorienting, and often the gateway to profound transformation. Think of it as the grief that cracks open the chrysalis. Examples of this cane include the speed of change that came with ‘Covid 19’ from late December 2019 until around April 2022.

A positive example would be something such as an unexpected promotion.

“Everything changed in an instant, and I wasn’t ready.”

Which can be more of a challenge for those who are on the Autism spectrum.

  • 🧬 Dimensional Grief

A metaphysical form of grief tied to timelines, potentials, or versions of self that were never realized. It’s common during quantum leaps, energetic upgrades, or when letting go of a dream that no longer aligns. You may feel sorrow for paths not taken or identities left behind. Especially within Neurodiversity as ASD1 (Autism level 1, ADHD and AuDHD, or what some would know as, ‘Starseeds or Empaths’ because their brain works in a non-linear quantum fashion).

“I feel grief for the life I almost lived.”

  • 🌪️ Identity Grief

When a core aspect of self—such as a neurodivergent diagnosis, quantum spiritual awakening, or role shift—is revealed or transformed, it can trigger mourning for who you thought you were. This grief often carries echoes of past masking, missed opportunities, or societal misunderstanding.

“I’m not who I used to be, and I’m not yet who I’m becoming.”

For the last example, I wanted to add something a little more personal as I realise you may also be going through the same or similar experience… the stages of watching your child(ren) grow up, especially the transition from junior school to secondary school.

As a parent or carer, watching your children grow up, you watch them go through many mile stones, life experiences and changes. It means letting go of the old and allowing the new to come in which can be accompanied by the Kubler Ross Change Curve and grief process. People who are neurodivergent tend to experience emotions more than those who are not.

Old memories surface as they, we move forwards with the change. Some that will be cherished for life and others rather forgotten!

Not only are you trying to anticipate and plan for the changes ahead for them… you’re also trying to navigate your own emotions, thoughts and actions as you let go that little bit more as they discover a little more independence and begin to find out who they truly are.

Endings bring new beginnings and equally more freedom and possibilities for those all around.

My only wish for children who are neurodivergent who are slipping through the diagnosis of ADHD, ASD, Dyslexia etc due to lack of funding available, the cost to go private or the triage system in play at the moment, is that there would be more schools available for those who don’t belong in the disability schools OR in main stream education which is broken. Why? Because soe children need schools than cater for their giftedness and things that are not taught in school like basics around quantum science and other subjects neurodivergent children are passionate about.

🤔 Final Thoughts

As you can see, there are many types of grief, the way it can be experienced, each shaped from an individual’s experience and what stage or phase you are at. Ultimately, we humans learn to ACCEPT in time what has happened, how to deal with it better and move forwards. The memories never really leave us, but we can help ourselves with he healing process with compassion, self-love, connection when wanting to and sometimes, a little help from a professional.

If there is one thing I want you to take from this today, it’s that you are NEVER alone, although at times it may feel like it as you go through the process of grief, remember to STOP an check in with yourself or someone who is going through the process with compassion, a listening ear, empathy and understanding.

And know that as a Transitional Coach who has experienced many types of grief and trauma, I have learned the NLP, mBIT, Timeline Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Adaptive Therapy for Autistic Adults and other coaching tools from lived experience and trained in if you should wish to work with me – please do get in touch.

Amanda Bowden – Transitional Coach 2025 ©️